11th June: Painty little feet

Do you see this dog? This dog looks like a dog who isn’t allowed in a cafe. I knew that from its optimistic little face as I opened the floor, but the cafe was empty when I arrived so of course I let my new friend take shelter from the rain with us.

Unfortunately the cafe owner soon arrived and sent doggo back out to wander the garden centre. Mean.

I was supposed to be meeting a friend in the afternoon but she was poorly so we didn’t have any plans. I had meant to rush out in the morning to get baby hand and foot prints on pottery for a (grand) fathers day present. But now we had a free schedule we had a chilled out morning and wandered off at lunchtime.

We went to The Potting Shed and had a little jug made with hand and footprints for my Dad. As I was feeling kind I made a mug for my ex as well with a hand and footprint that said Daddy. Not entirely selfless, I’m mostly hoping he remembers this when it rolls around to mothers day next year. But obviously he is a man so it’s fairly unlikely.

Anyway here are some photos I took before the cafe was bombarded with a coach load of pensioners shouting ‘Joan can you believe it’s £2.30 just for a cup of tea?!’ and lots of ‘look at that little boy’ (Emily)

I didn’t take this until the cafe was full and more than one person made a point of the fact I was taking a photo of a wall:

They have a good outside play are and plenty of tables so it would be a good place when Emily is toddling around:

(as an aside those pink cars were my ultimate goal when I was little. A goal I never achieved)

So if you’re interested in the pottery there is a studio fee of £3.50 plus the cost of the pottery. A mug was £9 and I think the jug was £15. It will take four days to be available as once they are painted they go on the kiln. I got onto kiln chat with the lady and it gets to 1000 degrees and she has to leave them a full day to cool before she takes them out.

She helped out (pretty much did) the foot and hand prints and then gave me a box of letter stamps to do the writing. You can always freestyle but if you’ve ever received a card from me you will understand why I did not.

Then we went home, I was absolutely exhausted after all the stress of the weekend and babywearing all over York on Monday (I’m a cheapskate and park by the racecourse for free which extends the effort). Emily is fairly good at amusing herself at home as the living / dining room is quite baby safe and full of toys so I just let her get on with it and drank tea and read It’s called a breakup because its broken. My friend recommended this and it’s a nice easy read. These things do really help keep my mind on the right side of sanity. A regular reminder not to be a crazy ex wife.

And then the baby sensed my tiredness and went to bed at 8pm without starting a fight with the bedroom blind. Win win win.

7th June: Feeling lonely

It was just me and Emily today, which happens a lot and I’m normally fine with but today I just feel really lonely.

I’m also really stressed about how I’ll cope when I go back to work. Mostly the thought of getting a strong willed baby out the door before 8am…a strong willed baby that likes a lie in and all day with her mummy. I think most parents do a tag team thing where they take it in turns to get ready while the other feeds / dresses baby.

And also how i’ll cope working nearly full time on very little sleep. And do the food, housework and laundry.

And survive financially.

Having someone to chat to every evening and just help out so I can get ready for bed would be a massive luxury.

Literally just a hug, a chat and ten minutes help would go so far to making everything feel more manageable.

My friend just got dumped and is back on online dating straight away for an ego boost. She suggested I do the same so I filled out a profile for something to pass the time. Definitely a bad idea, none of the men were as right for me as my ex so I deleted the account quickly feeling even more negative about the future as I did before.

Dating apps are sad places when you are already feeling lonely.

18th May: Aunt Flo came to town

NB: Not my photo, not my hands, I’m not that gross (but still gross enough to include the image).

Now I generally avoid stupid ways to avoid saying the word period but the title ‘I am menstruating’ doesn’t have the same ring to it.

BUT I am menstruating, which in general is boring news but I haven’t done it in 18 months so I feel it is blog worthy.

I thought my body would be like woah, what is this?! I don’t want it. But in reality my body said this is nothing, I contracted a baby out, I’m fine here.

So…totally acceptable amount of blood loss and not too much cramping. Thanks first period, thank you body.

Now when I was last a regular menstruator I gave a mooncup a go but I wasn’t totally sold. It was a faff to grip hold of to pull out, sometimes I couldn’t get the bugger out and a Google search recommended doing a poo right before. It’s a bit annoying to wait for a poo to sort your period cup out.

But, as I have already mentioned I pushed a baby out last year. My vaginal canal is an expert in pushing things out. I’m back in the menstrual cup game with a new found sense of confidence.

Soo…the market has expanded since I was last shopping. I want a menstrual cup with an easy grippy end. Hopefully someone reads this and knows my menstrual cup of dreams? Message me please menstruation experts I want your help!

13th May: Champion eater award please 🏆

I wanted to rush and get the food shopping done before my Dad arrived to help us out for the day. This is dangerous as if my car goes near a McDonald’s before 10.30 it automatically pulls into the car park. Once I was out of the car staring at the golden Ms there was no choice for it but to have a breakfast.

As I am a champion I ordered the pancakes and syrup, flat white, sausage and egg mcmuffin (single, I’m not a monster) and hash brown.

I’m sure you will be pleased / disgusted to note that I finished it all. Whilst I did this Emily was very slowly working her way through courgette and apple (unseasoned and microwaved):

She was getting a lot of praise from an old couple next to us and the manager. Babies get praise for very little. I had just eaten two breakfasts and nothing. Then one of the McDonald’s guys came around with a tray of cheese bacon flatbreads.

Now even a glutton like me is aware this is bad news. It’s 90% cheese and bacon for gods sake. And I’d just eaten two breakfasts. Anyway the baby is obviously on a mission to have a squishy comfy mummy for all the babywearing and ate her food so ridiculously slowly that I was forced to take one to fend off boredom.

I’d like to say I was stuffed, that I regretted my actions and felt sick for ages. However my body is accustomed to this. I felt fine. And that thing about not going food shopping on an empty stomach…I came back with nearly 30 chocolate bars anyway.

Non, je ne regrette a rien.

6th May: Rainy Monday

It feels quite appropriate to have rain on a Bank Holiday Monday. Very British.

We had no buddies today and didn’t want to be bored at home all day so set off for Fairburn Ings. It is an RSPB reserve but I’m cheap and didn’t want to pay for parking when we weren’t staying long so we parked on Cut Lane in the village.

We planned to do the red loop but there was a massive downpour so we turned back for one of the birdwatchers huts. I had thought that we would have a little picnic and I could set Emily down on my scarf to eat her snacks. Instead she had to eat snuggled up inside the sling. I got very cheesey in the process.

It’s a nice easy walk with views of the water on both sides. There must be some interesting birds (as there was a lot of binocular excitement all around) but I have no idea and only spotted swans and ducks.

Other than a few kissing gates that might be difficult for a massive pram it’s an easy pushchair friendly walk. We were of course using the sling. Now that Emily is gaining a fair weight I felt like a bit of a packhorse with baby on front and rucksack on the back. With all the snacks, baby gear and drinks the bag was really uncomfortable. I have a Pacapod Saunton which I love as it’s fairly hand bag looking but it is quite big and can be a handbag / shoulder bag / rucksack. But I carry a ridiculous amount of stuff and it’s not really a hiking bag. The band keeping the straps attached is looking a little precarious so I think I’ll have to stop loading it with flasks and picnics.

But…look at what a pro rucksack this is (above). We went to Junction 32 at Castleford as there are plenty of outdoor shops there. First of all I learnt there are different names for these things: daybag (little rucksack), backback (medium rucksack) and rucksack (big, maybe with a frame on to keep your back cool) . At 30L this one is maybe a rucksack as it’s fairly big with a bit of a frame? Still confused.

I like it though, it’s big but doesn’t look like I’m going on my gap year. It’s grey and I like everything to be grey. It’s waterproof but doesn’t feel it. It has a frame to keep the heat off my back if I’m going proper hiking. It was £30 reduced from £80 and I also got the water bottle for £2 down from £10 and the headband (as I get very cranky as soon as any kind of wind hits my ears) for £2 as well. Excellent bargains.

Other than the Tog24 buys I just went to the Cadbury store. I personally think it isn’t that cheap. The only thing worth buying (when I compare it to Home Bargains prices) was a multipack of 8 mixed bars for £2. I’m happy for 25p per bar. Not all eight bars survived the 15 minute journey home unfortunately.

I also finally got around to visiting the car wash place. I have a very comfy down Joules winter coat that I misplaced months ago. I last remembered seeing it in my car before we went to the car wash but had never got around to going back to ask. I half expected them to have gotten rid of it as it had been so long but I was finally reunited with my old coat.

Walks. Coffee and cake in a birdwatchers hut. Bargains. Chocolate. Coat reunion. All in all not a bad day.

21st April: A beach bunny

Emily’s first trip to the beach was SO MUCH FUN. I was a bit worried that going to Aldeburgh beach on what was supposed to be the hottest Easter Sunday on record might be a bit stupid. It turned out to be a wonderful day, not too hot and as you can see it wasn’t too busy. Excellent.

As it’s a rocky beach my very organised sister brought three massive ikea mats to spread down. She also brought a blow up paddling pool and we put another baby mat in and lots of toys to (theoretically) keep the baby from crawling away / choking on pebbles. The rascal only sat in it alone for a couple of minutes but it was still handy if we went with her to avoid pebble negotiations.

I’ve included some Aldeburgh pictures because it was bloody beautiful. Alongside Bamburgh I think it’s my favourite seaside town. As well as the huge beach and pretty painted houses there were some good shops like Joules, Seasalt and L’Occitaine en Provence. Parking was pretty easy with lots of spots right next to the beach. There were lots of cafes, pubs and a gelato shop.

We just chilled on the beach, tried to read magazines (but Emily also wanted to eat them which made life difficult) and ate loads. I even let Emily eat a chip at the end of the day, she loved it the little potato head.