I like to think I’m not too much of a sheep. People who agree with whatever you say are a bit annoying. I’ve known a couple of people like that and sometimes I would find it amusing to say one thing and let them agree and then say the opposite to let them agree. Maybe I’m a dick though, or maybe they just don’t listen and the joke is on me.
If you remember The Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts she had lots of relationships (obviously) and one thing they noticed was that she said her favourite eggs were whatever her fiance at the time wanted to eat. Now maybe I’m a dick sometimes but at least I know what eggs I like. But I think this is a fairly common thing. In a way it is kind of natural to start getting interested in whatever your partner is. You’re sharing your lives, it’s nice.
However on the reverse side once you have broken up you tend to re-evaluate what it is you actually liked and start exploring what you want (on your own).
For example this blog, I sort of dabbled in a couple of bits online when I was married. But I always had this idea that my ex would cringe at my writing and mock it. I self edited more than I should have and they were completely boring. Now I am here to please no fool. I can write whatever I want even if it sounds stupid, I’m here for my own amusement alone.
You might not have a blog, you might like to dance like a twat around your living room. You might like to eat pizza naked on a Monday night. Maybe you have a teapot obsession that is getting out of control and taking over your home. Ain’t nobody around to judge you.
Yes I know that when you’re single there is nobody around to bring you a hot tea in bed in a morning either. And hot tea is nice, you don’t even have to get up for it. But flasks are also pretty good nowadays and the tea will be almost as hot. It’s only a very small compromise in the grand scheme of things. Have slightly less hot drinks, gain your freedom.
And yes I get that some things take two people (complicated flat pack furniture, sex). But chances are you have friends that can help, or a handyman (to confirm – that was in reference to flat packs).
Also it’s quite unlikely you will find someone who has 100% the same preferences regarding money and housework (and many, many other things). So relationships are hard work and involve compromise. I never have to compromise with myself.
Part of me thinks that I like my own space and doing things my way, I’m not saying that I’ll never cohabit or marry but for a while I can 100% see the perks of being single or something really casual.
And that’s a big thing for me as I was raised on Disney where marriage is the end point of every film, I always considered myself a relationship person and wanted the fairy tale ending.
Sometimes you have to let go of how you thought you wanted things and see the perks of how they actually are.