14th June: Woah! We’re going to Eureka. Woah! Get to West Yorkshire 🎼

Very, very, very belated blogging here.

I toyed with the idea of forgetting the whole diary section of my blog and waiting till I’m having a bad day and just going waaaaahhhhh fuck my life / oh and here is a charity shop buy. But then I remembered I had some cute Eureka photos I want to show off so back to the diary thing.

Friday 14th June we went to Eureka. You pay for an adult and you get in for free for a year. Babies under one are free anyways and babies over one (who I refuse to call toddlers as this is scarily close for my baby and I can’t let go) cost money. But for some reason if you take your under one baby and go once they are over one you don’t have to pay. Excellent. Get yourselves to Eureka almost one year old babies. Bargains ahoy.

So there were three under 5s zones. The first was the sound garden featured above with a padded area for non walking babies to be safe from devilish toddlers and many signs to this effect. Did a single toddler walk past the safe baby zone without hurtling themselves into it? Of course not. How many shits did the mothers give? Absolutely zero. So I had to sit inside it with her as a human shield.

Here are a couple of photos from the sound garden, because it was nicely photographable and I bothered to put lipstick on so I’m going to upload a selfie:

Then the second under 5s bit was the discover zone. It kind of felt like my very vague memories of my old nursery. A table to cut / colour / create, a sand pit and a corner with rugs and puppets and cushions and toys. I just lay myself down there like a very lazy woman. The mothers at the table having to humour their small people and shit artwork kept looking at me. I’m not sure if they were judging me for lying down or jealous. I did a puppet show for Emily until I realised she really wasn’t watching and just wanted to bash the water bottles around. Could have done that at home really.

Next up was a desert themed something. Probably fun if you’re five. Emily was too busy to pose here:

Then we wandered around the non baby specific bits. A flashing lights section which was a bit trippy and a member of staff kept coming over to say Eh-Oh in the style of a teletubby to Emily. Quite alarming. Very awkward.

Then we went around the human body bit which is the most interesting. They had a screen which showed the hottest parts on you when you stand in front of it. It showed up that Emily is a human furnace. Which I knew already. Weirdly my crotch was a hot zone. I have a super hot crotch, can’t believe I’m single with an asset like that. I was quite glad the place was empty. I swiftly moved on to the giant tongue for a photo opp:

I think that was all that was note worthy. Other than the fact I skipped lunch and got excited walking up to see an M&S Food only to realise its all fucking plastic. Instead I got the £2.50 coffee and cake after 2pm offer from the cafe even though it was 1.50pm because I obviously look poor / desperate for cake.

So it gave us something to do for the afternoon. I’m not quite sure if Emily enjoyed it as she has developed a resting disinterested face at the moment. It’s quite funny watching people try their very hardest to get a smile out of her when we are out and she just poker faces them. It makes people feel awkward. It’s funny.

That’s all I can add other than that there is a massive sand pit outside which was fun:

And that’s Emily saying bye for now folks.

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