6th June: Everything I did. Literally Everything

A day in the life of…

How boring you may be thinking. Well whatever, someone said to me ‘I don’t know how you do it’ so I thought I might as well post a typical day for us. However I don’t really do typical days, I’m not good at routine but here was our Thursday.

We are bedsharing and as I don’t get out of bed at each wake up I don’t really notice how many times I get woken up. I know it’s a lot. So let’s say my day started at 2am, 5.30am, 6am and 7.15am as we always have a few feeds after dawn.

7.15 alarm goes off. Boob straight in mouth. Baby asleep. I creep away with everything crossed I can get a shower before she wakes up. I grab the video monitor on the way out. I step carefully over the creaky patch by the door. I open the door, cats meow an enthusiastic good morning. Baby wakes up. Little bastard cats.

7.35 Nappy change. Just a wee 👍

7.40 Baby balancing on hip, one handed cat water refresh and dry food given. Cats request the garden, I tell them to piss off and they can use the bloody litter tray ffs.

7.45 Play pen dragged into bathroom taking up entire room. I climb in with baby and play enthusiastically so that she steals something off me and becomes so engrossed I can sneak out for a wee.

7.50 In the shower, I really need to shave my armpits but I threw the razor away as it looked gross and the plumber is coming today and I didn’t want to leave it on the side. I used the baby bath wash even though I have my own. Lavender, yum.

8.05 Quick toothbrushing

8.10 Baby put on my bed so I can dress. Various negotiations over whether she can climb down and what she can play with. Manage to also spray my hair and dry it before going downstairs.

8.15 Baby plonked in living room behind the baby gate. Wooden blocks (most enticing toy) plonked in front of her as distraction while I make toast. I rinse strawberries and take the toast and cream cheese on a chopping board to prep in front of her at the dining table as she is getting tetchy. Quick hand rinse and muslin improvised as bib.

Back and forth back and forth between passing her breakfast and doing my own hair straightening and make up. Make up even included lip liner today as it was new and fancy (Bobby Brown Rose liner and Tulle lipstick)

8.40 Dress baby after nappy change. No poo. Very concerning for later.

8.45 Almost grabbed massive hikers ruck sack then realised I don’t need that much and took my very first trip out to York with a handbag instead. Magical.

Made a quick Americano for the car. Almost grabbed bag of chocolate raisins then was a pillar of strength and didn’t.

8.50 In car, enjoying my Amazon music free trial with Bruce Springsteen greatest hits ‘Baby we were born to ruuuuuuun’

8.52 Take sip of coffee and suddenly regretted lack of chocolate. Almost detoured to South Milford M&S for a pain au chocolat but had more willpower (couldn’t be arsed getting the baby out).

9.22 arrived at York Gingerbread early. A first. Walked in like yeah ill be the first there I’m so organised. Already four mums there in deep discussion and excitement over someone’s unwanted beauty stuff. Half a pot of tea down.

Lots of tea and biscuits and chat. Palmed the baby off on one of the other ‘Gentle Parenting’ mums there and generally rinsed her of all parenting / skincare / dating advice she had.

11.10 it finishes at 11 but I hang on till the last like some adult conversation deprived desperate woman.

Free face mask in bag.

11.15 baby secured in car. Slightly whingy. Fingers crossed for an improvement.

11.25 zero improvement. Now in McDonald’s. Wasn’t even arsed about McDonald’s. Quarter pounder meal for me (full sugar coke as apparently aspartamine in Diet ruins your gut bacteria and slows down your metabolism). Cucumbers, apples and grapes for Emily. I have to bite each of her grapes in half. Annoying.

11.30 Family member messages that she is hopeful we will get back together. I rant about all the reasons my ex doesn’t want me and is an all round arse.

11.40 Boob out, breastfeeding while cleaning up to save time.

11.45 back in car. Happy baby.

12.15 stopped at cash point, left baby in the car but parked right in front of it and watched the car the whole time. Still felt panicky.

Cash point says no. You are far too overdrafty now single mum. Shouldn’t have got dumped on maternity leave with no pay you dumb dumb. Shit I think. Plumber on the way. Text ex and demand child maintenance immediately. He does and I go back to cash machine.

12.20 had to wake the baby to get her out. Normally I sit there until she wakes up but I’m rushing in to clean up before the plumber arrives.

12.30 washing up done but no plumber

12.35 very quick wipe down of toilet area (baby in play pen)

12.40 no plumber. Vacuum downstairs with baby perched on hip

12.45 playing on the floor with the baby waiting for the plumber

12.50 baby in sling attempting to get back to sleep while waiting for plumber

1pm given up. Baby back on the floor playing (pulling every book off the window sill). Nappy change. Poo. Tears on account of me using wipes.

2pm no plumber but a text from the plumber saying he will be half an hour

2.30 no plumber. Fuck it I’m having a coffee and white chocolate bar

2.45 no plumber. Getting angry.

2.50 sun comes out in full force. Baby on hip, open up shed and drag massive carpet out into the gravel garden. Back in for wooden blocks and plonk baby down. Baby stands infront of rose wall. How insta I think and attempt standing shot (I like to show off about my baby’s milestones, I know it’s not cool but I got dumped this year and showing off is all I got OK??!!) one million photos and none standing

2.55 baby back on hip to go back in for chocolate raisins. Decide to be very frosty with the plumber on account of his tardiness.

3pm start to worry the plumber came and I didn’t hear as I was in the garden

3.05 plumber arrives and tells me my hair looks nice (I told him last week I was having it cut) I said good memory. He said he remembered as it looks so fresh. I’m not one bit frosty. I make him an Americano.

3.10 baby tries to steal chocolate raisins so I hide them in the general sofa area she can’t reach. In and out of the house playing and then trying the sling a few times. Get fed up and plonk the cat in front of the baby. She pulls his fur out and he runs. I bring the cat back.

3.15 family member responds after my ranty ‘why he left me’ text. Responding takes too much mental capacity. I’m running low.

3.30 ex works out child maintenance wrong. I correct him. Then I get aggressive at him for leaving me and call him a disappointment of a human being. I remind him that my careful financial planning before trying for a baby very much relied on him not walking out on me. No response.

4pm can’t be arsed negotiating for gravel anymore so move back inside and do various songs with baby dancing / lifting on my legs while I lie back. I feel like I have to stick to known nursery songs and can’t improvise while the plumber is there. But then I slip into ee-eye-ad-ee-oh the monkeys got your nose and he shouts ‘sounds fun in there’. It’s not fun. Fun is a coffee and magazine while the baby sleeps. This is going insane.

4.10 baby sleeps in sling. Hurrah.

4.20 Plumber leaves with £140 of my overdraft in his pocket

4.30 start writing this

4.45 coffee break. Make an Americano. Try to find raisins. Cannot and settle for crisps. Then find raisins. Go in garden with crisps and raisins.

4.50 slight rain so go inside. Sun back out. Very annoyed. Sit inside by the patio doors as a compromise. Sun on my face.

5.05 feed cats. Annoying squatting action as baby is still asleep in the sling.

5.07 back to snacks. Consider poor planning as it is dinner time but I am eating snacks and baby is asleep.

5.08 realise I am answerable to no fool and can snack whenever the fuck I see fit. Eat more raisins.

5.15 baby still asleep. Reading article about a woman that got dumped. I already read this when my online mum friends shared in on Facebook BUT she got dumped and I got dumped so I’m reading again. Solidarity sister.

5.20 full bag of raisins down. Calculated 840 calories. Fuck. Still lots of iron though right?!

5.25 start making dinner as one cannot live on raisins alone.

Baby still in sling so all cooking done at full arms reach so she can’t touch. Not easy.

5.30 drag massive carpet back into shed. Not easy with baby in sling.

5.35 get half a mini bottle of wine out of fridge. Yum.

5.40 sit down to eat pasta with a tomato sauce (batch cooked previously), microwaved courgette slices and baby corn with torn up mozzarella. Not a meal my husband would authorise due to lack of meat. Fuck him I can have vegetable pasta now.

Put Society on with the Netflix app on my phone

5.50 briefly consider if I should apologise for ‘Disappointment of a person’ comment but don’t

6.05 finished the season of Society. Quite annoyed. I now have to figure out what to watch.

6.10 the baby is enjoying her own version of tomato pasta messy play. I’m enjoying the break so leave her to her messiness.

6.10 issue a kind of half apology for the disappointment comment whilst complaining about how hard my life is

6.15 strip my clothes off before I carry tomato baby for a bath. Everything is orange.

6.20 baby happily splashing in an orange bath. I use this time to use Body Shop Chamomile balm to remove make up, Aldi pink cream stuff as a second cleanse, Niacinanide and Zinc and then Salicylic Acid on my face followed by Squalane oil all from the Ordinary Company.

6.25 baby out and crawling all over my lap for a breastfeed. I need to brush both our teeth but I’m just sat in the armchair considering how tired I am

6.35 wrestled baby into pyjamas and brought her to the living room to roam. Narrowly stopped her stomping into the pasta mess but as I was distracted with clear up she dragged a pile of clean washing across the floor. Somehow convinced her to go in the bouncer while I washed up. Had a fight over the two toothbrushes and admitted defeat while I left her to chew on them. Chewing is still brushing right? Tidied her toys while she waves the toothbrush triumphantly over her head.

7pm sit considering the fact I should respond to family member from earlier. Procrastinate on social media instead.

7.05 intended to sing and dance to Greatest Showman with the baby but my friend’s ex is being a twat so I had an hour long rant on WhatsApp while the baby played independently (wreaked havoc on the room)

7.25 Poo nappy change. Really gross. Gross but interesting.

7.55 go upstairs and spray room with Neil’s Yard pillow mist. Surely this will lull the baby to an easy sleep.

8pm attempted bedtime. She feeds to sleep but frequently almost sleeps then bounces up for more play. Tonight there was a lot of downward dog whilst breastfeeding with occasional breaks to use my face as a drum.

8.15 she is standing up on the bed to lift the blind and fill the room with sunlight. Sunlight is not conducive to sleep but moving her creates a tantrum which is also not conducive to sleep. I just want to sleep. I want to go for a wee and go to sleep.

8.20 pull out the big guns with Neals Yard lavender roll on. This is double lavender now. She starts tug of war for the roll on, I win but she protests loudly. She’s back on the blind now. I’m too tired to fight the fight.

8.25 she keeps standing up, drumming things and falling bum onto my face. The lavender is working on one of us. I am extremely sleepy.

8.30 back to breastfeeding but with added shushing this time

9pm SUCCESS baby is asleep. I should be tidying up or at the very least going to a wee and tooth brush but instead I’m catching up on writing blog posts.

9.37 crept away to the bathroom and before I’d finished my wee I could hear whimperings from the bedroom. Had to very quickly wash my hands and run back as I was worried she could crawl off the bed. Really want to brush my teeth but by the time she falls asleep I will probably be asleep as I am exhausted. Evenings are the hardest time to be a bedsharing single parent when just getting ready for bed is a challenge.

10.09 these teeth have been BRUSHED and it’s bed time for me. I am POOPED.

One thought on “6th June: Everything I did. Literally Everything

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