21st May: Armouring myself for a food tour of Leeds

Cars are bastards. You look after them and love them and use them as cribs to gently lull your precious one to sleep and then the bastards get to 100k miles and demand a new cambelt. Bastards. They don’t care that you’re on the last portion of maternity leave with ZERO income and your husband just left you. They just demand a new cambelt anyway.

Anyway I went to VW as they gave me a new Polo for the day which was fun but a basic car and I think I’d rather have my six year old Golf over a new Polo because it is actually nicer. The Polo feels like a little tin can when you shut the door and there was nowhere to rest my left arm and I had to use a hand break like some kind of flintstones character. Absolutely bloody outrageous. And yes I’m a bit of a twat.

So getting myself and a baby to Leeds through rush hour to arrive at Elland Road before 9am was nothing short of traumatic. I had to recover with a McDonald’s breakfast (sausage and egg mcmuffin, flat white and hash brown). Then we headed on down to Leeds Royal Armories. Here is a photo essay as I don’t really have any comments to add other than I like armoured elephants and Emily likes the actor telling the Beowolf story.

Then we had a wander around the gift shop. I do like me a museum gift shop. They had a rather good selection of books for girls and older feminists:

I almost went with the ‘girls can do anything’ but thought it was a bit patronising. Emily was born assuming that girls can do what boys can do so it seems a bit weird buying a book to say so. Instead I went for a story where a Princess and Queen are basically trolling a dragon together when the Princess dresses like a Knight and they have joint lolz as they trick him into leaving. It’s like Gilmore Girls of the dragon era. I like it.

Then a wander around the Leeds Docks area

And back to the car when I realised I had just stepped over into three hours parking territory which is annoying at £2.50 per hour.

Then we went to the absolute luxury of Asda cafe on York Road *intense sarcasm it is a hell hole*. Which is near Emily’s dad’s office so that she could see him. Her father informed me how often the police are there because of in Asda fights. How jolly. I clutched Emily to me a little closer.

Whilst there I ate a pizza slice, coke, chips and hot dog.

I had two hours to kill so obviously took a little detour to Temple Coffee the land of overpriced donuts and trendy hipsters.

And we picked up the car, departed £600 lighter and went on our merry way.

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