1st April: A standard Monday

Not a lot to report today, just me and Emily hanging out today and the highlight was the breastfeeding café at the free Sure Start play group. Only three other Mums turned up and there were three staff and a volunteer so I had the opportunity to pass Emily on and saunter off for hands free tea and biscuits. Of course she didn’t last long before demanding her Mummy back but half a cup of tea is a luxury I don’t turn down.

I was desperate to get out of the house so we had a wander around the charity shops of Sherburn in Elmet first (all two of them). I managed to get a wooden toy for 50p, new Next baby top for £1, cardigan for 50p (with very cute teddy buttons) and a top for me for £3. I think I have a bit of a shopping addiction, purely triggered by boredom, but when it is so cheap I think I can get away with it.

Emily fell asleep in the car on the way home and I risked bringing her in. Whilst she was asleep I managed to make a flat white and roast chicken sandwich and was rather happy at the opportunity to eat and read without interruption. She of course woke up at this point and whilst hanging out on the sofa with me spilt my tepid coffee everywhere, second day running. More fool me. Frank then snuggled on the sofa with us and I got this rather cute shot.

I think Frank has a love hate relationship with Emily where he thinks she is interesting and loves the offcasts from weaning but also resents her space on the sofa and attention she takes. I often find myself squashed on both sides from them. My husband will soon be taking Frank to live with him, I love Frank very much but managing a clingy and strong and heavy dog with a clingy baby is very stressful. It will be a very sad day when Frank moves out but his Dad will bring him along when he visits Emily. In some ways I think the divorce is affecting Frank far more than Emily. Emily can’t understand other people’s emotions yet (she actually finds me crying absolutely hilarious) whereas Frank is very intuitive and picks up on everything. Once he is settled in with his Dad and new routine I think it will be better for him though, however it makes me so upset that it has come to this. If we had stayed married we could easily have had all three pets together in our family unit, it is just one more thing to add to the pile of resentment and injustice. Not a useful way to think but true.

Argghhh I remember when I worked at summer camp they told the counsellors to discourage the children from writing to their parents before bed as they will just see the negatives when they are tired and write about that. Turns out I need to take the advice given to the children!! At least I have a beautiful view of a snuggly baby in pyjamas by my side. It isn’t all bad.

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