So today is day one of officially living alone, at least it is supposed to be but when I returned home the enormous weights rack and massive dual screen computer and desk were annoyingly still there. I woke up determined not to wallow in self pity in what could potentially be a thoroughly shitty day.
In an attempt to avoid the awkwardness of my husband, his friend and father in law packing up his life we set off for Headingley which is supposed to be a trendy part of Leeds with charity shops and nice coffee shops. Every single time I drive to Leeds I get lost (repeatedly), my life would be a disaster without google maps but with Emily asleep I at least avoided the drama of a screaming baby. Eventually I arrived but unfortunately my most exciting purchase was a 50p book by Ben Fogle about Britishness. I think I would quite like to have sex with Ben Fogle, however that doesn’t really affect the likelihood of me reading the book (and probably says more for long it has been since I had sex than it does about Fogle). The book will probably sit on the side for a few months till I give in and send it back to charity. I read constantly but my kindle app is so much handier when you have a baby so for now books are a lot of hassle.
We did find a nice coffee shop but annoyingly we were doing the standard baby in the papoose and empty pushchair thing. Obviously the pushchair wouldn’t fit in the cute coffee shops so was just a massive pain of a shopping trolley for the one book I purchased. In an attempt to salvage the day we went to Chapel Allerton which resulted in zero charity shop purchases but I did have an excellent flat white at House of Koko. We hit the table lottery and had a group of young women next to us. Social butterfly that she is Emily was giggling away at them and they were chatting back so I seized the opportunity to wolf down my delicious smoked salmon, cream cheese, caper and red onion bagel. I must remember to buy capers when I’m next at Aldi, they really make everything better. If you haven’t already you should really tear up a whole ball of mozzarella and cover it in garlic oil, chilli oil and capers. Salty and greasy and cheesy it is savoury perfection. I also got a pastel de nata from Lidl which I had with another flat white when I got home. Very tasty, I might even detour completely out of my way to Lidl tomorrow to get another. Happy mothers day to me and everything.
We are now in bed for the night, social media is once again not my friend. I saw both a pregnancy announcement for baby number two and a post someone did about her sister. The fact Emily may end up as an only child is a massive trigger for me so I had a little cry. Told my husband (via WhatsApp) that I was upset and he said I have to stop thinking about it. It is a fair point but I wanted to wallow in self pity for a bit, I suppose know your audience and all that…there is not much point about whinging about second babies to your husband who has just walked out of your marriage. Complete shocking revelation there!