I met my husband back in 2010 through online dating, he was tall, handsome, old fashioned and we had the same interests. It was only my second date after my last break up and I couldn’t believe my luck, a couple of years later we moved in together and bought two Ragdoll kittens, two years later we bought our first home and adopted a big lovely rescue dog, two years after that we had a beautiful wedding in the Yorkshire Dales. After a minimoon at the gorgeous witchery in Edinburgh and a honeymoon in Rome we started trying for a baby when I was 28. We conceived almost straight away, I’ve never been the type to formulate a ‘life plan’ but if I had I reckon I would have written this out almost exactly. Everything seemed to have fallen into place perfectly.
All through my pregnancy my husband’s family kept telling me what a good father my husband would be, he was obsessed with our pets so I was inclined to agree. We had started collecting for the baby after my husband spotted sheepskin bootees on our honeymoon which I thought was a good omen. Apparently family life is hard work and it takes more than an enthusiasm for pets and slippers to make it work. During the first few months it was obvious things weren’t working out as I had expected but I was so busy with a clingy little newborn I didn’t have time to dwell on it.
By Christmas things started to spiral dramatically, we agreed that my husband needed space away from the family so baby and I moved to London for a couple of weeks to give him time to recover and consider counselling. Unfortunately that made him realise he would be happier alone and was the start of our break up. I am still in disbelief that my dependable husband who had planned a family with me could just decide it would be better not to be in that family any more. When you feel like you have finally achieved what you have always wanted and your world suddenly gets turned upside down it is a tough pill to swallow.
So now it is just me and the little one, I am trying hard to stay positive and make the most of life as a family of two and this blog is a documentation of that process.